We are "enjoying" the hospice environment so much more than the hospital!
For those of you who come to visit I would like to explain a little more about what you see and what it means.
The first thing you will notice, dad has lost weight, which is totally normal for a person who hasn't used their muscles in over three months.
The next thing you will notice is the large scar over his eye. most of that was from his first accident, but when the 2nd happened, as stated before, it tore open the last cut and it was even worse this time.
If dad is sleeping he will have his eye closed and breathing deeply, and sometimes will have about 5 seconds between breaths. Again, this is normal.
When any loud noise happens it "wakes" dad up and his eyes open. Sometimes he will be"awake" when you enter the room, which is just a normal "awake" time for dad. These can last minutes, or hours. This means his eyes are open and he is looking around, and if you get closer to his face he might look at you.
Although an opthamologist came in and said that dad could see, we were told by a neurologist that his Optical Lobe (the part of his Brain that works his vision) was damaged, and he doesn't think dad can see, BUT with our experience, we feel dad looks at us right in the eyes, which in my opinion means that he can see. What we don't know is what he is comprehending. He see's us, but CAN he think..."Oh look, it is Amy and Joye"--or whomever? We don't know. Even if he does think "Oh, it's Amy or Joye" how long does that recognition last? For just a moment? For a minute? We just don't know. Sometimes when he looks at you, you feel he is really looking at you, but other times he looks 'through' you and you know he isn't "there".
What we DO know is that even if dad is able to make some connections, even for a minute, he would be so frustrated with this current mental and physical state that he would choose to do the same course of action we have taken. (And once he did express that to my mom before any of this happened)
We have prayed, fasted, and sought out counsel with MANY professionals, religious, medical, and others! It is VERY difficult for mom to answer lots of questions about dad's condition and why he is doing this or that..SO PLEASE if you have ANY questions about why dad is doing something contact Amy or Angie at Joye's house.
We need to let my mom grieve how she will, and give her room to make choices. If she wants to stay with my dad, encourage her, if she wants to go home, encourage her. and again, please keep any sad stories to a minimum. She has always had empathy very profoundly and even more so at this point in time.
Thank you so much for your support and PLEASE inform people of this, and direct them to the blog if they have ANY questions.
Thank you so much
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